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January has been a difficult month. It has been a month of loss and has been full of goodbyes, tears, and ample hugs from family, friends, and students. But... even in the midst of sadness, it has been a month of laughter and love. It is this juxtapose relationship between happiness and sadness that has taught me so much about my own personal and professional journey in resilience. More importantly, my journey in January has taught me that mercy and happiness are the keys to taking the next step when resilience is waning. This has particularly been poignant in the final steps I have taken with my student "B." Those that know me well know that "B" and I have a special bond born out of struggle and caring. It had been my ardent wish to make my school the first one "B" was enrolled in for the entire school year. However, his needs were specific and better met in another location. In his last two days, "B" struggled to function in our setting. He was reeling from the news that he was to be moved once again, and he struggled to understand why. In that last day, I had a decision to make. Was I going to chose mercy and happiness for his sake, or was I going to take a hard line? And in those moments when I felt the pull of mercy or consequence, I remembered my own feeling of loss, and I chose mercy. I chose to hug him and play checkers; I chose to work on a puzzle and play legos. Looking back on my last day with "B," I am thankful I chose happiness and mercy. And, you know what? I want my character and leadership to be remembered by these two characteristics - both happiness and mercy. Because if they are, my discussions around consequence and expectation will be softer and more effective, and in turn the hearer will be more ready for the critical feedback. In some cases, this is the first step, really the only step, we can take towards resilience as a team.
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Your strength in being able to couple mercy and happiness in the midst of your own sadness truly speaks to your personal and professional resilience (2.0). I know that the circumstances surrounding “B’s” transfer served as an element of disappointment for you upon your return to work. You had worked diligently to bond with him and support his matriculation at our school. It felt like a setback to learn that he could no longer continue. However, your reflection offers a powerful view into your ability to determine appropriate responses to situations, especially those with undesirable outcomes (1.1). While difficult, you were able to put “B’s” needs first and respond accordingly. Yes, his specific needs were to be met at a different school site, but you also highlighted how necessary it was that he transfer from our school feeling loved and that he had a connection. Your choice of mercy and happiness not only aided in your growth, but it made a difference in “B’s” life as well. Those core values were ever-present throughout the entire situation, and as a result, certainly increased your effectiveness as a leader and example (1.2).
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