Candor and Respect

Recently I have taken time to listen to a podcast called Radical Candor, and one episode about ruinous empathy continues to speak to me as I work to hone my skills as a coach and instructional leader.  Scott and Laraway (n.d.) describe that when you do not give people criticism when they need it you actually end up hurting them professionally and personally.  Can this be true?  You hurt them by being too nice?

This concept has weighed on me since I began listening to the podcast regularly.  I have always tried to couch my feedback in such a way that even the most sensitive "hearer" would be open to the feedback, but in my efforts to ease into the conversation have I been "too nice?"  According to Scott and Laraway, as a leader it is now my job to "Just Say It."  In other words, at times we need to be radically candid so that the person receiving the feedback can produce their best work or be their best selves.  And, it is not only the "hearer" that benefits from the radical candor.  The rest of your team benefits from the feedback as well because the work as a whole becomes more efficient or effective.

So, how does this idea of shutting down ruinous empathy to give radical candor actually apply to schools?  One connection I have made is to a recent article I read concerning irreplaceable teachers.  According to the researchers at TNTP (2012), when administrators fail to address negligent retention, we dismiss or even undermine the work of the most effective teachers in our buildings.  Furthermore, our lack of effort to address the poorest of professionals may even drive our best teachers out of the profession.  So, while we may have a teacher shortage quickly coming on the horizon, the real issue goes far beyond actual teacher retention.  The question at hand really is about how we keep our best teachers while also raising the expectations for all, even if this means we must retain fewer of the poorest performing professionals in the building.  In order to address poor performance, leaders must go back to the radical candor Scott and Laraway (n.d.) describe in their podcast.  According to Scott and Laraway, the steps for giving quality feedback is simple.  They suggested that leaders do the following:

1. Just say it.
2. Go into a criticism conversation with the criticism and the objectives written down prior.  (Go into the conversation with a "I just want to be helpful" mindset.)
3. Find someone that you trust, and practice your message.  Sharpen the message so that it lands the way you intend.
4. Accept the fact that you may not have a solution to offer in the moment.  Ask the person you are working with to help you identify a solution to the problem collaboratively.

In the end, I feel their candor checklist above is doable, especially if it is planned and executed in love and respect.  Will the candid feedback always be well received in the moment?  Probably not, but if I truly care for a person and the health of the school, I must notice and act so that all children have a chance to become their best selves.

References

Scott, K. & Laraway, R. (n.d.). Ruinous empathy and criticism [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from
https://www.radicalcandor.com/blog/podcast-episode-4/ 

TNTP. (2012). The irreplaceables: Understanding the real retention crisis in America's urban schools [PDF document]. Retrieved from
https://tntp.org/assets/documents/TNTP_Irreplaceables_2012.pdf 

Balancing Numbers

This past week I was gifted with a really fantastic connection; Principal Kafele followed me on Twitter.  Yeah, he followed ME!  Wow, right?  We are now learning from each other, and that really is something in my book.  He may garner something new from me like I like I do from him so often on Twitter.

So, why is this notification so momentous for me?  Well, Principal Kafele is known in education circles to challenge the status quo.  He fights for ALL children's access to education, and he cares deeply for the professionals with which he works.  In essence, he is kind of a big thing, and when he speaks or tweets or video posts, I listen.  And that is why I stopped and really noticed what he posted on Saturday.  His word for the day was balance, and his definition spoke to me.  Kafele challenged the reader to "...give the fulfillment of your dream your all, but also ensure that there is balance in your life."

When educating children is our dream, so much of what we do then engulfs our waking and sleeping hours.  We worry over teachers and students, we work to meet a menagerie of deadlines, and we reflect over practices and policies constantly.  We facilitate great work in our buildings, and we dedicate our hearts to the service of our students and staffs.  Untold numbers of hours are spent on this good work, and that is what we love to do.  So, when Kafele posted an article about a principal who had passed away at her desk shortly after he posted his definition of balance, I took notice.  In the article about Trish Antulov, the author quotes an alarming statistic.  “On average, 53 per cent of principals worked more than 56 hours per week during term, with 27 per cent working upwards of 61 to 65 hours per week" (Miner, 2018).  Miner (2018) proposed later in the article that principals often work so many hours that they cannot maintain a healthy lifestyle.  My understanding about the need for balance for all educators - not just principals - weighed on me in that moment, and I believe any leader and educator who leads from the heart will feel the same way.  


So in response I began to ask myself a variety of questions.  How do I lead from the heart professionally while balancing my personal needs as well?  Furthermore, how can principals help one another so that the profession is not so lonely and the work not so heavy?  I am not sure that I have an answer yet, but I know that we cannot do this work alone.  It is going to take a team to figure out how to balance the numbers so that we are ALL resilient enough to do the work ahead.   Finding the right leadership team is certainly going to be crucial, and leveraging shared leadership practices is also going to be a must.  But, I think even more important will be my ability to find that critical friend, that one person I can trust, so that I may share my worries AND my joys in a candid way.  Ultimately, as a principal I must find ways to balance the numbers - the tasks, the hours, the joys, and the hardships - so that I can truly be the servant leader I want to be.  #balancematters #resiliencematters

References

Miner, K. (2018 February 21).  Principal dies at her desk. The West Austalian. Retrieved from https://thewest.com.au/news/kalgoorlie-miner/principal-dies-at-her-desk-ng-b88751578z