The Ten Things Challenge

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Recently on Twitter, I came across the ten things every educator should say more often.  As I read them I kept thinking, we really should be saying these every day and all day - not just more often.  For if we begin with "I believe in you" and "I won't give up on you," how different would the reaction of the listener be?  How would their response to the feedback change if we led critical conversations with these statements?  How different would my own tone, stance, and reaction to a person's response be if I led with the "you count" mindset?

My attraction to these statements should not surprise me.  See, I have been wrestling with what radical candor sounds like, particularly when you are about to have a truly tough conversation.   I think many of us in the education business tend to care personally more than we speak candidly.  We never want to hurt feelings.  But, Scott (2017) espoused in her recent book that even when we are speaking candidly, we can show that we care for others personally by being critical when work is not "up to snuff."  I think that the language, however, must be crafted in such away that the listener can hear, and this is where I slightly veer away from Scott's assertions.  I believe that we should always be radically candid, but the heart of the conversation should always come from love.  So, when I am opening even my most critical conversations, they should begin with "I believe in you" or "I care about you."  However, we must move into "and that is why I am calling you and myself to a higher standard here.  What truly is best for kids, and how can we work together to make sure that happens?"  (Notice, I am not using "But" in the statement above.  That's intentional.)  Having these kinds of conversations will always be difficult, but we still must have them.  The hearer may not "feel" my intentions; however, I still must show that I care by holding us all accountable.  In a "Radical Candor" podcast about ruinous empathy and criticism, Scott and Laraway (2017) suggested that a manager draft and practice these kinds of conversations prior to sitting down with the employee.  I cannot agree more.  Moving forward, I will prepare for the tough conversation just like I am doing my teacher observation debriefs.  I have will have a set agenda with prepared questions.  I will move into the refinement and offer help and suggestions as best I can.  We will then land on a plan of action with specific steps for myself and the employee.  This is forward thinking and forward leading, and I am excited to begin practicing it as I continue my work as an aspiring principal.

Reference

Scott, K. (2017). Radical candor: Be a kick-ass boss without losing your humanity. New York, NY: St. Martins Press.

Scott, K. & Laraway, R. (2017, January 24). Ep. 4: Ruinous empathy and criticism [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/radical-candor/id1188489488?mt=2&i=1000380337619 

Happiness and Mercy

It has been quite awhile since I posted to the Oz Buzz.  This was a fairly regular practice of mine when I was a Technology Integration Specialist many years ago.  As a school leader, I essentially got out of practice sharing my learning in a public forum, but boy have I learned in the last six and a half years!  So, I wanted to begin my new journey on the Oz Buzz with a reminder about happiness and mercy.  I wish you all much learning and happiness in the new year.  Thank you for joining me on my journey!

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January has been a difficult month.  It has been a month of loss and has been full of goodbyes, tears, and ample hugs from family, friends, and students.  But... even in the midst of sadness, it has been a month of laughter and love.  It is this juxtapose relationship between happiness and sadness that has taught me so much about my own personal and professional journey in resilience.  More importantly, my journey in January has taught me that mercy and happiness are the keys to taking the next step when resilience is waning.  This has particularly been poignant in the final steps I have taken with my student "B."  Those that know me well know that "B" and I have a special bond born out of struggle and caring.  It had been my ardent wish to make my school the first one "B" was enrolled in for the entire school year.  However, his needs were specific and better met in another location.   In his last two days, "B" struggled to function in our setting.  He was reeling from the news that he was to be moved once again, and he struggled to understand why.  In that last day, I had a decision to make.  Was I going to chose mercy and happiness for his sake, or was I going to take a hard line?  And in those moments when I felt the pull of mercy or consequence, I remembered my own feeling of loss, and I chose mercy.  I chose to hug him and play checkers; I chose to work on a puzzle and play legos.  Looking back on my last day with "B,"  I am thankful I chose happiness and mercy.  And, you know what?  I want my character and leadership to be remembered by these two characteristics - both happiness and mercy.  Because if they are, my discussions around consequence and expectation will be softer and more effective, and in turn the hearer will be more ready for the critical feedback.  In some cases, this is the first step, really the only step, we can take towards resilience as a team.