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Recently on Twitter, I came across the ten things every educator should say more often. As I read them I kept thinking, we really should be saying these every day and all day - not just more often. For if we begin with "I believe in you" and "I won't give up on you," how different would the reaction of the listener be? How would their response to the feedback change if we led critical conversations with these statements? How different would my own tone, stance, and reaction to a person's response be if I led with the "you count" mindset?
My attraction to these statements should not surprise me. See, I have been wrestling with what radical candor sounds like, particularly when you are about to have a truly tough conversation. I think many of us in the education business tend to care personally more than we speak candidly. We never want to hurt feelings. But, Scott (2017) espoused in her recent book that even when we are speaking candidly, we can show that we care for others personally by being critical when work is not "up to snuff." I think that the language, however, must be crafted in such away that the listener can hear, and this is where I slightly veer away from Scott's assertions. I believe that we should always be radically candid, but the heart of the conversation should always come from love. So, when I am opening even my most critical conversations, they should begin with "I believe in you" or "I care about you." However, we must move into "and that is why I am calling you and myself to a higher standard here. What truly is best for kids, and how can we work together to make sure that happens?" (Notice, I am not using "But" in the statement above. That's intentional.) Having these kinds of conversations will always be difficult, but we still must have them. The hearer may not "feel" my intentions; however, I still must show that I care by holding us all accountable. In a "Radical Candor" podcast about ruinous empathy and criticism, Scott and Laraway (2017) suggested that a manager draft and practice these kinds of conversations prior to sitting down with the employee. I cannot agree more. Moving forward, I will prepare for the tough conversation just like I am doing my teacher observation debriefs. I have will have a set agenda with prepared questions. I will move into the refinement and offer help and suggestions as best I can. We will then land on a plan of action with specific steps for myself and the employee. This is forward thinking and forward leading, and I am excited to begin practicing it as I continue my work as an aspiring principal.
Reference
Scott, K. (2017). Radical candor: Be a kick-ass boss without losing your humanity. New York, NY: St. Martins Press.
Scott, K. & Laraway, R. (2017, January 24). Ep. 4: Ruinous empathy and criticism [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/radical-candor/id1188489488?mt=2&i=1000380337619
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1 comment:
Natalie,
Your “Ten Things” challenge is a powerful tool to reference in order to become more intentional and purposeful in communication with teachers. Your desire to lead even your tough conversations from a place of love truly speaks to your heart for students and teachers. It is evident that, while you acknowledge the need for tough conversations, you also recognize the importance of the collaborative effort (of you and the teacher) in the interest of students. I especially noted that fact through your commitment to hold yourself and the teacher to a higher standard when the work is not up to par.
I think that it is especially powerful that you have a plan for developing your communication for tough conversations. Taking the time to draft your feedback and refinement further demonstrates your strength in reflecting upon your current practices and making necessary adjustments to grow yourself as a leader and others as well. (1.0, 2.0, and 3.0)
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